I still remember the feeling of emptiness and the fear of the unknown that I experienced for the first time in my life exactly two years ago. There were so many questions resurfacing like wildflowers in my mind: “what is the purpose of my life?”, “why do I go through the same type of situations over and over again?”, “how can I keep on living in society that seems so foreign to me?” and finally “is there any other way to live than simply adjusting to what is?”
One more work experience was draining my precious life force. Nothing made sense. What’s the rush? What makes me feel obliged to be part of this craziness and do some meaningless job to pay the bills? Why does it all feel suddenly so pointless to me?
I didn’t know who I was anymore. Or better yet, I’ve never known who I was and I was finally able to see it. I felt as if I was falling into some deep black hole without a chance to return. And this is what actually happened. I’ve never come back to the life I had till then. The journey into the darkness took me to the place I didn’t know existed.
This period of transition is often called “the dark night of the soul” and it’s when you lost the zeal for life, but haven’t yet reconnected with your essence. It’s emotionally, mentally and physically turbulent time. Although incredibly painful, it’s also a blessing in disguise.
After many years of accepting life happening to us, we get a gift of being able to reconstruct ourselves. We can purify our mind, body and soul from the limiting beliefs, self-destructive habits and negative stories we’ve been telling ourselves to rise like phoenix from the ashes– wiser and stronger than ever before.
There can be moments when our self-talk is so intense that we might think we’re getting crazy. We’re not. These are the old attachment of our egoic mind which is scared to be redefined and clings desperately to what it already knows.
It’s time to activate all resources we have to navigate change in our life. And the most important from them is our capacity to love?
What can you do to navigate change?
1. Release the identification with the past and trust the process.
There’s something wonderful waiting for you on the other side of suffering. There’s a promise and there’s a bliss. Know that whatever you did or whoever you were in the past had its own purpose and it doesn’t define who you can be or what you can do today. You can always recreate yourself and use your life experience as a fertilizier to grow something of value in the world.
Sometimes in order to know who we want to be, we need to explore first the opposite.
2. Accept all emotions that are resurfacing to be transformed.
During this period, all kinds of emotions you’ve suppressed because of shame or social ideas of what’s right or wrong haunt you until you embrace them. Anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, self-pity and shame have some message for you that you’ve been resisting and ignoring. They’re just energy in motion that wants to find expression.
Emotions can be channeled constructively if we’re very honest with ourselves and ask what they want to show us. They’re like a child that only wants to be acknowledged, heard and loved.
3. Be willing to face and transcend the darkness to shine brightly.
This is what scares us the most, especially, if we’ve already stepped into our spiritual path. In case we have our own idea on what being spiritual really means, we’ll crash into the limiting beliefs that have made us judge ourselves and others.
We’re learning to love unconditionally our darkness. With surrender to what is, comes the feeling of wholeness. It’s only when we integrate the dark and the light nature of our being that we can shine brightly, unlock our inner power and see the beauty in ourselves and all around us.
4. Remember that you’re never truly alone.
You might feel abandoned and misunderstood because it’s so uncommon to hear about people experimenting this kind of situation. The world focuses on what brings smile to our faces and it’s hard to find someone who would share publicly their low moments.
In spite of that, know that you’re not the only one who is going though it. If you don’t have anyone in your life who has ever experienced the inner transformation, look for support through internet by joining communities of kindred spirits, reading inspiring articles or attending meditation class in your city.
Try to find a healthy balance between being alone and connecting with others.
5. Cultivate gratitude for what occurs in the NOW and what you’ve gone through.
Instead of focusing on your hardships, express appreciation for everything you like about yourself and your life. There are things that you have that other people pray for in this moment. We often forget about being grateful for the unexpected gifts, like a smile of a stranger, rainbow after a rainy day or helping hand of a friend. And we take for granted the shelter of our home, food on our table and, most importantly, our health.
The simple and yet powerful habit of cultivating gratitude is actually a magnet for all abundance we’d like to attract into our life. It creates space in which we start feeling good and this let us see the opportunities where before there was only struggle.
6. Forgive yourself and others.
Forgiveness means giving ourselves permission to start all over again. If we hold a grudge and continuously recall old memories, we get stuck in the past without a chance to refresh our life and open for the new.
If we want to forgive someone, we need to first forgive ourselves. The aspects that we can’t stand in someone else reflect our own dark points which are so hard for us to accept. The darkness in us and the others is the place that begs for love. It comes out of misunderstanding and pain which can be healed and transformed.
7. Trust in a greater meaning of it.
Everything happens for a reason. If you weren’t ready, you wouldn’t attract this experience. There’s some part of you that yearns for expansion and knows it can go through this hard time. Trust it. Trust there’s a bigger plan for you and surrender to it.
8. Journal to release mental stress and know yourself better.
The greatest source of support during my own dark night of the soul was a little journal where I was sharing my deepest thought, doubts, longings, but also lots of inspiring ideas.
It let me release mental and emotional clutter that was so difficult to bear. I started to see many aspects of my life in a different way and I found some creative solutions.
9. Exercise and spend time in nature.
Your body is processing a lot as you release old pain from your energy body. These are all emotional tendencies, physical habits and mental patterns that were the cause of suffering in your life until now.
Listen to you body carefully. Give it a rest when it asks you for it and move a lot if you can’t stop the mind’s chatter. Your energy looks for a way out and you can create it through some simple home tasks or by spending time actively in nature.
10. Choose music that has a soothing effect on you.
Music is like a balsam for our open wounds. When its sound is used to connect with our divinity, it can also synchronize us with the higher source of love, unity and energy, empowering us and expanding our receptivity.
Get comfortable and set a conscious intention to listen to your favorite music with your eyes closed. Let it flow smoothly inside your body taking all tension and negativity out of your system. Wherever you feel a blockage, imagine that it’s opening like a lotus flower and breathe light into it. Surrender and trust that music can heal you.
11. Accept and love who you are now thanks to your story.
And above all else, love yourself. You did everything you could in your life based on the resources you had in the past and you still do the best you can based on your current perspective. Look at your past self with compassion and understanding. Whatever you did or didn’t do, say to yourself “I love you just the way you are right now”.
Remember, it’s not a coincidence that you wonder how to navigate change in your life. You wanted to step on a different level in your reality. Everything will be better from now on if you only trust your heart.
I’d love to hear from you;
∞ How do you deal personally with change?
∞ Have you tried any of these techniques?
∞ Did it help you find more clarity and peace?